birth control should be required to get into college
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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