You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
