i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
