sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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