he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
be right there i have to get my cape
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
