I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
pray to the hookup gods
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
