I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
