she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
