I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
