onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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