he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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