Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize