What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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