But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
from now on my penis is your penis
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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