what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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