So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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