The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
