What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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