Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
