Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
