just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
