What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
zippers are such a cool invention
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
