You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
