yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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