it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
