dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It was confusing and full of hummus
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
