Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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