I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
wat bout pragnant strippers??
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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