Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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