You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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