Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
