I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
