it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
last night I used snow as a chaser
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
