I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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