Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
