Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
