Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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