He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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