im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
