It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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