I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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