I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
