"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
