Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
