Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
