moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
