her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
