Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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