fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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