you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
