That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
